One of the new questions I ask myself is – What am I supposed to learn?
I am just wrapping up a week of incredible highs and lows at Date with Destiny, a Tony Robbins seminar, that runs for 6 days (and nights!!), and challenges every value and belief you have about yourself and others. I have learned so much, and had so many breakthroughs, Ah-ha moments, and realizations about myself. But what would I share first? How can I sum this all up?
But that’s not that only thing that happened this week to challenge my values. On Day 3, our Values day, where we elicit our deepest values and beliefs, as an NLP Practitioner, this wasn’t new, but Tony’s insight and meaning gave me a whole different perspective on how powerful they can be, especially if they don’t serve you, even the positive ones. We went through a process, where we figured out both our positive and negative values and the rules we gave them to be achieved. The crazy thing is that all of us, make our positive values, the things we value most and strive for, almost impossible to achieve and therefore cause us pain, and our negative values, the things that cause us pain and suffering, really easy to achieve, this seems crazy, but it’s an unconscious pattern that we all have, that until analysed and changed can sabotage our lives and hold us back.
Just before we had to got through our own values, we had a short break and I noticed I had a missed call from a friend and texted her saying ‘I’m on a course will probably run until 1am, be back in Sydney next week. x’ Reply : “Sorry, it’s bad timing but I need to give you some bad news. Call me when you can. x” My heart sank but I didn’t know what it was, my mind raced, but I knew if I took the call it would totally change the process I was about to go through, plus I couldn’t change the news I was about to receive. I told her I’d call her in an hour. I went into the room a bit rattled, but knew I had to focus on this next hour to get the most out of the week and realize my ultimate destiny. I’m slightly ashamed to admit my top values, but this last year has been about my new business and making sure I never have to return to my corporate job, so my No. 1 value was Success, No. 2 was Freedom (I’m never working for anyone else again!), No. 3 was Helping others – a bit more admirable, No. 4. was Growth (I am a course junkie after all), No. 5 was Health, No. 6 was Love & connection, No. 7 was Fun and No. 8, Security. I know love is really far down that list but it had become less of a priority this year, but there was also a fear to admit how important it actually was, so it made the list, just pretty far down. I finished the list, left the room and made the call, I was told the tragic news a friend had been killed in an accident.
It’s now a few days later and I’m still trying to process the news, I don’t know all the details, they’re not important, but it doesn’t seem real. It took me 12 hours to cry as I was so shell shocked, and a hug from my buddy, got me started the next day.
We had actually started dating but ended up just becoming good friends, it was his birthday last week, he was turning 34, he quit corporate about 3 years ago, to live his entrepreneur dreams, he had just launched a new company and was doing exceptionally well, he had big dreams and was going to sell it and retire in 5 years. He was a big handsome man, with a huge heart and passion for what he did, he spent his days working really focused for a few hours and kite surfing when the wind was right, we’d meet for long lunches and dinners and discuss life and our big goals. I’m so glad he was doing something he loved every day.
The day came to reevaluate our values, and mine had dramatically changed, and so have the rules I have given myself, so I can make them easy to achieve every day, so I feel happy and fulfilled and the negatives ones are now much harder to achieve. So what’s my top value now? Well it’s still not love as I believe without health you don’t have anything so, Health + Vitality are No 1, closely followed at No. 2 by Love + Connection – a much more sensible position for it, No. 3 is Gratitude – I am so grateful for the people and opportunities I have in my life. No. 4 is Passion – in life, work and relationships, No.5 is Happiness + Fun, No. 6 is Learn + Grow, No. 7 is Inspire + Help others. No.8 is Success – still important but not above all else, plus I have redefined what it means to me! No.9 is Creativity and finally No. 10 Abundance + Travel. I have completely dropped freedom, as chasing it means I’m not already free, and another notable absence is Security, as the need to be so certain all the time limits my opportunities and fun! 🙂
I’ve had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude this week, that I’m following my dreams and passions and but had a massive reminder to enjoy every moment, celebrate every win and tell the people you love just how much they mean to you! ♥
When was the last time you stopped for a moment and reevaluated your values and beliefs, are they really serving you or just making you sad, frustrated and possibly even lonely??
Lots of love, Jo XX
My buddy Malissa and I, our BBQ After-party at the amazing house we rented up on the Gold Coast, and the man himself Tony Robbins! 🙂