Are you in your masculine or feminine, and why does it matter?

It’s something I’ve never really understood until now.


In my last blog post I was trying to sum up what I’d learned at Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny, last week. I had so many breakthroughs, Ah-ha moments, and realizations about myself. But the theme that ran through the whole week and my biggest takeaway was about masculine and feminine energy. My mentor Gina DeVee talks about it all the time but I never really understood what it really meant. I got these beautiful flowers {below} today, for no reason, and all the note said was ‘because you’re feminine, hope they brighten your day, X’

I was close to tears, I’ve had a tough week and said goodbye to a friend yesterday, and they really have made my day!

But what does being in your feminine mean and why does it matter?

Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy within them, and at their core are dominantly one or the other.  It’s important to have both and we can all adapt which one we use, with practice, but most of us function in one, as a default state, and it may not be the one at our core. When we are operating in this altered state for too long it can deplete us, as it’s exhausting, and you will not be truly fulfilled if you’re not living as who you truly are.

For any relationship, gay, straight or other, to work and have passion it needs to have polarity, both a masculine and feminine energy, so according to Tony Robbins equality is not the answer! What? No! What about women’s lib? 

I asked the same question but I had confused being feminine with being weak or flirty. But its actually about being open, receiving graciously, being free, flowing and the hardest one, vulnerable. It’s definitely something i’ll be continuing to work towards!

Although I’ve always loved clothes, make-up and jewellery, I’ve always been fiercely independent and after 13 years as an accountant I nearly had the feminine knocked out of me completely!! I didn’t want to be perceived as a weak female or thought to be stupid if I tottered around the office in high heels, so I toughened up. Last week made me challenge some of my own judgements and beliefs of others.

But it’s not all about women being masculine, it can very easily go the other way too,society is making men more and more feminine. And as a single female I can vouch for the lack of masculine men out there. If a man takes longer than me to get ready, it’s a huge turn off! 🙂

Masculine energy wants freedom, to fix things, is stimulated by challenge, has a powerful centered presence and wants to be appreciated. If a man tells you everything he feels, he’s a feminine male.

Relationships don’t end because of a lack of love but depolarization, when both become the same.

This is a huge topic and too much to explore here, but it certainly got me thinking and definitely explains why some of my past relationships didn’t work out!  I am heading to Paris next week for a course, work and a photoshoot, I can’t think of a more wonderful place to practice being in my feminine power! 

Lots of love,


My stunning flowers, and any excuse for another picture of Tony Robbins, a very masculine male! 🙂

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