Have you ever played down your success or achievements to make other people feel better?
Have you set your goals and sights smaller than you truly want because you’re worried about what people might think if you actually told them your secret dreams? Worried they might think you’re crazy- or tell you it’s not possible?
Do you deflect praise or compliments? With excuses like;
Compliment: ‘I love your shirt’
Response: “oh this old thing?’ or ‘i got it in the sale’ or ‘it’s actually got a hole in it’,
Compliment: ‘You look great, have you lost weight?’
Response: ‘No, i’ve actually gained a few pounds’
Compliment: ‘Your hair looks great’
Response: ‘Actually it needs a cut.’
WTF? Can’t we just say ‘oh Thanks’ and smile…how hard is that…
But the truth is …we fear claiming our true power, as we fear who we really are.
Power demands responsibility.
Power can be scary.
What if people don’t like me or can’t handle it when I claim my power?
Are you ready to claim your authentic power? Check the list below and make sure you stop giving it away!
1. Making excuses– We all do it, and I have heard them ALL! Often at the moment of decision making about making an investment in yourself, or when things are about to change.
‘I don’t have the money’, ‘Oh i’d have finished it, if I had enough time’, ‘I couldn’t because of the school holidays’, ‘my laptop crashed’, ‘i moved house’, ‘i’ll start next month’,
It’s not very empowering or sexy to not take responsibility for your actions.
2. Blaming others or complaining – This is victimhood, and I’d guess no one really wants to identify as a victim. I thought I was a strong, independent, capable woman- and I was, but I was also blaming others for my lack of progress, I blamed my team, my coach, my family, my friends.
They aren’t dedicated enough, fast enough, efficient enough. They aren’t good enough, they gave me bad advice, they don’t get it, they aren’t high vibe. As soon as I dropped this story, everything shifted.
I once had a former client, months after our coaching agreement had finished, blame me that she wasn’t sticking to her morning routine!!! WTF?! When I suggested that was her responsibility, she didn’t appreciate it!
When you take FULL responsibility for your results and actions you reclaim your power.
3. Not meditating – The ego loves drama and addictions, and wants to avoid stillness at all costs. It fears if you stop for a moment you will actually feel your emotions or worse actually move towards love.
4. Waiting to be rescued (or discovered?)– Um sorry to break it to you, the only person that can reuse you is you. I was waiting for someone to come along and make it all better, I actually paid people to help me, but it still didn’t work. The buck stopped with me.
I had a client who was just doing the bear minimum in her business, she was ‘kind of’ showing up but not really at all, when we went deeper, she admitted that she was waiting for her big break and to be discovered- she was banking on someone seeing her potential and betting on her- while it’s always a possibility, it can’t be your plan!! Bet on yourself first!
5. Procrastinating– You can only teach what you need to learn! 😉 Allowing tasks (and the meaning you give them) to create such an incredible hold over us, is not healthy. We are only given what we can handle and there is always a way to figure it out, it’s rarely rocket science. Plus the feelings of accomplishment and wellbeing you can get from completing the task, surely outweigh the benefits of delaying them. But yet it seems to be the No.1 issue for entrepreneurs. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? For me the underlying issue is often Fear of Rejection, but I’m so much better than i used to be, and I know if I don’t ask I don’t get.
6. Not doing your taxes – Ekk, I’ve been here- as a former Chartered Accountant, I should have had no excuses in this department but I had convinced myself I was avoiding my taxes, as I was so over my corporate job and needed a break from that work. In truth, it was a deflection of my power. I was giving it energy subconsciously, allowing it to worry me, and even started to worry if I could ever sort it out. The power and threat it held over was immense, and when i decided to look it straight in the face, not only did I regain my power but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be!!
7. Holding onto weight – Um yeah, I’ll put up my hand to this one too. By staying big – I could stay small….if you know what i mean? Another beautiful excuse to not do things; my weight kept me safe, meant it was ok to hide, not have that photoshoot or delay those videos. or even not get into that relationship. This is a huge part of my journey I’m still working on, but it’s getting easier. Ask yourself; what do I gain from holding on to this weight?
8. Not asking for help or delegating – Thinking you can do it all yourself is the biggest trap that will keep you small. You have to learn to release the tight grip on control and let go of the tasks that are not in your Zone of genius.
9. Not journaling or doing your mindset practice– I believe almost anyone reading this will at some level know that journaling, visualising the future and mindset work are the key foundations to growth and success. So why are so many not doing this daily? I think there are a few reasons; 1) they know how effective it is and actually fear the change or the success it might bring. 2) they’re not convinced it will actually work 3) it feels like hard work, a task and they don’t think they have time for. It actually speeds up results, so it’s time to find the time! 🙂
10. Staying busy– can be a form of avoidance. Avoiding our feelings and ignoring the signs that things need to change. Staying busy, doing all those firefighting tasks, allows us to avoid doing the actual work that grows our business. It’s a beautiful excuse, but it’s more about not wanting to take the time to get stuck into the meaningful tasks. Say No more, prioritise and delegate to move forward.
What are you willing to let go of or start doing to reclaim your power today?
Jo x <3 <3 x